Mario Party: Special Edition
by Marie The Crocheter
Summary: Brought back from a 2-year hiatus! Peach decides to throw, as she calls it, The biggest and best party this place has ever seen! Featuring playable and nonplayable characters from various Mario Party games. New Chapter: Treasure Hunt, Part 2.
1. Prologue to the Party

_(Author's note: Um...yeah. I've been playing Mario Party a lot. Can you tell? I've also been recording music from all the games (yay for the sound tests and the WinTV audio recorder thing!), and was inspired to make this...work of fiction. Most of it was written while I was __supposed to be working on a short story for my creative writing class. (Ugh, I love to write, but not under the direction of a strict teacher.) I guess you could call this an act of rebellion, heh? OK, not really. Just something to work on when I don't want to do anything...serious. I wasn't gonna publish it, but, meh, whatever. It's been over a year since I published anything..._

_Excuses out of the way, this story features characters from all seven of the mainstream Mario Party games. **I do not own these games nor the characters within**, but I do own at least one copy of each of these games! (I actually have two copies of __Mario Party 6. Long story...or not; one's English and the other's Japanese.) There are also a couple of references to people or places in other games. I do not own the rights to those but I do own at least one copy, usually one in each language, of the respective games. Uh-huh._

_Watch for some out-of-characterness and disagreements in verb forms and point of view. Oh, and review if you're so inclined. Though I don't know why you'd __want to...)_

It was a bright, sunny day in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Peach decided to throw a grand party…

Peach: Oh, because it's so bright and sunny I— wait a sec, who was that talking?

Who, me?

Peach: Yes, you.

I'm the narrator.

Peach: Narrator?

Author. Whatever. Just… erm… continue on.

Peach: Well, I'm going to throw a party. Now, where's that list of people I'm inviting? Ah… here it is.

Toad: Do you want me to mail the list?

Peach: No, I want you to mail invitations to the people _on _the list. You too, Toadette!

Toadette: Dang.

Peach: And be sure to send five invites to each person. You can't rely on the mail service here. At least one of them should reach the person.

Toadette: _(looks over list)_ Okay. Oh-kay. We need to send invitations to…

Toad: Oh great, here it comes…

Toadette: Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Wario, Waluigi, Boo, Dry Bones, Birdo, Tumble, the Millennium Star, Game Guy, Belltop, that greedy Goomba who wears pink, the Koopa with the tropical shirt, that fruity Toad who dresses in—oh wait, that _is_ Toad—, the Shy Guy with that explorer's hat, Eldstar, Mamar, Skolar, Muskular, Misstar, Klevar, Kalmar, Brighton, Twila, Toadsworth—hey, he lives here already—, and 'anyone else we can think of'?

Peach: Yes, that's exactly right!

Toad: Toadette, make coffee and lots of it!

(A month later)

Toad: We finished, your highness.

Peach: _(playing Mario Party, uh… let's make it an advance copy of the next Mario Party game)_ …Finished what?

Toadette: Sending the invitations!

Peach: What invitations?

Toad: Oh, great. We do your bidding for a whole freakin' _month _and you don't REMEMBER what we were DOING? AAAAAAAAHHHH! _(runs around in circles screaming until Toadette trips him)_

Toadette: The party invitations. Remember, your highness?

Peach: Oooh… wait, yeah. I remember. What took you so long?

Toadette: _(twitches)_ Well, you _did_ ask us to send five copies to each person on the list _and_ since you provided us with no paper or writing utensils we had to make our own quill pens, walnut ink and also made our own paper…

Peach: Ohh…right. I guess I should have told you where the paper was. Oh well. Now we just have to sit back and wait! _(Turns off the Gamecube and sits back in her chair.)_

Toad: _(Long pause.)_ Um… your highness?

Peach: What?

Toadette: The party's not for another week.

Peach: Oh, really? Then I'm going on a little trip. I'd like to go back to Isle Delfino. I'll be back soon! Bye-bye! _(Leaves out a back door.)_

Toadette: Someone really should tell her that's just a sandbox. Isle Delfino's quite far away.

Toad: Nah, she'll figure it out.

Six hours later…

Toad: Okay, let's go tell her.

Finally, that week passes. Toad and Toadette made the preparations.

Toad: Do you think Bowser will come?

Toadette: Yeah, probably. He always does. We should make some space for him and the Koopa Kids, don't you think?

Toad: Yeah, I agree.

Toadette: You think Bowser would like the spiky chair?

Toad: Yeah. I wonder why the princess got that horrid thing, anyway…

Toadette: It was on _sale._ You know how girls get when an item's on sale!

**_Flashback_**

Toad and Toadette pass a display of assault rifles that are 75 percent off listed price.

Toadette: Ooh, look at this!

Toad: …What would we need _these_ for?

Toadette: Didn't you say you lost your bazooka? And look! They're 75 percent off! We should get two or three of them!

Toad: …

**_End flashback_**

Toad: Yeah, unfortunately, I _do_ know.

Toad and Toadette make all the preparations. They're the only servants in the place right now because Toadsworth lost most of the princess's money to the slot machines in the hotel at Sirena Beach, at Grate Guy's Casino just off Bean Valley, or at Pianta Parlor in Rogueport. She could afford to pay only two for a while, so Toad and Toadette were forced to stay while the others left. Toadsworth had been in rehab for a while, but, alas, he was back.

Toad: It'll be great keeping Toadsworth away from that greedy Goomba and Game Guy…

Finally, everyone arrives. No need to go into detail there. Oh, and Bowser shows up, of course. Once everyone's there, they wonder what they're supposed to _do…_

And the point of view is changing here, since I'm a heck-of-a-lot more used to writing in either first person or third person with total or at least _partial_ omniscience.

…Yeah.

"Oh, why, I'm going to throw a party, of course," Peach told them. "The biggest and best party this place has ever seen!"

"Will I get to cheat people out of…I mean, let them play my games?" Game Guy asked.

"That's my call!" the greedy Goomba said.

DK made some kind of incomprehensible noise that no one could understand.

"Can I steal coins?" Boo asked.

"Who's hosting? I don't wanna host with that…freak!" Brighton said, referring to Twila, who then proceeded to hit him with her staff-thingy.

"I thought you two made up," Peach muttered. "No, no, no. Toadsworth is hosting, and so are Zess T. and some of their friends. Everyone else is _playing!"_

"…You must be crazy," Toad groaned. "Where will we play? How will we play with this many people?"

"Simple. I wanted to go out and play at my cake, but seeing that Wario, Yoshi, and Birdo ate it already, I turned my castle into a game board," Peach explained with a big smile.

"Oh, so _that's_ why we had to spread those spaces all over the castle!" Toadette exclaimed. "There was a reason!"

"You owe me fifty coins," Toad snapped to Toadette.

"Er, yeah…"

"Anyway," Peach said, "Choose your teams, everyone! Teams of two, of course. Let the game begin!"

PRINCESS PEACH'S CASTLE  
Blue Spaces: 60  
Red Spaces: 11  
? Spaces: 7  
Duel Spaces: 12  
Miracle Spaces: 5  
Bowser Spaces: 3  
Toadsworth Spaces: 8 Landing on one will cause Toadsworth to GIVE OR TAKE coins or a star, whichever the roulette chooses  
Millennium Star: Moves around, sells star for 20 coins  
There are capsules spread out at random places, and one capsule shop being run by Ms. Mowz from Paper Mario: TTYD.

THE TEAMS  
Everyone hurried to find a teammate, preferably, someone they could stand to be around.  
We end up with 14 teams, listed in alphabetical order:

AN EPITOME OF EVIL  
Wario & Waluigi  
(Wario: Wa ha ha! By having "an" in front of our name, WE'RE FIRST!  
Waluigi: Nya ha ha!)

BOOKWORMS  
Skolar & Klevar

CUTE COUPLE  
Luigi & Daisy  
(Luigi: Oh…Did you _have_ to choose that name!)

DAZZLING DAMES  
Twila & Misstar

DEAD AND LOVIN' IT  
Dry Bones & Koopa Troopa  
(Koopa Troopa: I object to that name!  
Dry Bones: Shaddup.)

FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS  
Yoshi & Birdo  
(Peach: Don't let them near the kitchen, Zess T.!)

FORMER INSTRUCTORS  
Toad & Tumble

FRIENDS OR FOES  
Mario & Donkey Kong

INCANDESCENT DUDES  
Brighton & Muskular

MOTHER AND SON  
Mamar & Kalmar  
(Kalmar: Are you _really_ my mom?  
Mamar: Does it matter?)

PERFECTLY PINK  
Peach & Toadette  
(Toadette: Aren't we the "Pink Punishers" in _Mario Party 6_?  
Peach: Yup, I just thought this sounds better!)

SHY AND SCARY  
Shy Guy & Boo

777  
Game Guy & Greedy Goomba

WISE AND STUPID  
Eldstar & Belltop  
(Eldstar: I guess I'm the only one with the patience to deal with this…thing.)

Toadsworth gives each team 10 coins. Let the festivities begin!


	2. The Game Begins: Round 1

_ (Look at previous chapter for disclaimer. Remember: objects may appear more edible than they actually are! Oh, and batteries not included.)_

So the game has started. Who will win?

**AN EPITOME OF EVIL, GO!**

Wario and Waluigi hit the dice blocks. Wario gets a '3,' Waluigi a '1.'

"This is lousy," Waluigi muttered as they rushed along the spaces. They land on a blue space.

"We need to get some of these blue space thingys!" Wario said as he caught the three coins. "We'd get rich if we just kept jumping on them!"

**BOOKWORMS, GO!**

Um…** BOOKWORMS, GO!**

**BOOKWORMS?**

Muskular slammed their books shut. "Hello, poindexters, it's your turn!"

"Oops," Klevar said. "I was just reading up on quantum physics."

"I was studying the properties of matter," Skolar sighed.

Klevar hit his dice block, then Skolar hit his. Klevar got a '4,' Skolar a '5.' So they move nine spaces and land on a blue space.

"No good cheaters!" Waluigi bellowed. "They went farther than us!"

"No, your chances of getting a total higher than a '4' are great," Skolar said. "We've played fair."

Klevar catches the coins. "The Bookworms have thirteen coins, total," he announced.

The two stars then turn back to their books.

**CUTE COUPLE, GO!**

"Ooh, it's our turn!" Daisy nearly squealed.

Luigi sighed. "I hate that name…"

Daisy hits a '3,' and Luigi a '2.' They land on a red space!

Three coins magically fly from Luigi's pockets.

"I didn't even know the coins were _in_ my pockets," he said, amazed.

**DAZZLING DAMES, GO!**

Without being told, Twila and Misstar hit their dice blocks. Twila gets a '1,' and Misstar a '2.'

"This stinks," Misstar mumbled.

Twila smiled. "Psst, watch this." She waved her wand, staff, whatever you'd call that, and the '3' turns into a '9'!

"WHOAH! Is that _legal!_" Waluigi shouted.

"Umm… uh…" Toadsworth didn't know what to say.

Neither did Peach. "Yeah, I guess it's legal," she said. "Just don't multiply it more than three, Twila."

The two celestial girls move the nine spaces, landing on the same space that Klevar and Skolar are on. Twila catches their three coins.

"Hehe," she said, "I'd like to see sunshine boy do _that!_"

**DEAD AND LOVIN' IT, GO!**

"I'm not dead," Koopa Troopa wailed.

"You will be someday," Dry Bones retorted.

They hit the dice blocks, and both get a '5'!

"Well done," Toadsworth said. "I'm as happy as a mad poet! Here, take five coins!"

"Wow, thanks," Koopa Troopa said. "Guess what, we're in first right now!"

Koopa Troopa and Dry Bones move ten spaces landing on—you guessed it—a blue space.

"Did that old guy just say he's 'happy as a mad poet'?" Dry Bones asked, confused.

Koopa Troopa shrugged. "I dunno what that means, either, but it must be good."

**FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS, GO!**

Yoshi and Birdo hit their dice blocks. Yoshi gets a '2' and Birdo a '1.' Without Twila's magic, they're forced to move only three spaces, landing on a… Bowser Space!

"There's a Bowser Space this close to start?" Yoshi asked, bewildered.

Birdo shrugged.

"Gwa ha ha ha!" Bowser laughed his cheesy evil laugh as he transported them to his platform…thingy…on the far side of the castle. It was actually a very large linen closet, but with Bowser's spiky chair in the center of it, the room looked very intimidating. "So what dastardly deed can I do this day? Umm… hmm."

"Just make us spin the stupid roulette," Yoshi muttered.

"Yeah, I guess. I can't think of anything else."

Yoshi spins it, and it stops on "Give Bowser 10 Coins."

"But that's all we have!" Birdo protested.

"Yeah, but that's the rules, and I have several more payments to make on my clown-copter anyway, so _gimme!"_ Bowser roared. Yoshi quickly forked over the coins. Bowser gleefully took them and transported them back to the Bowser Space.

"Good start," Yoshi said sarcastically.

**FORMER INSTRUCTORS, GO!**

"That's us!" Tumble exclaimed. "Ooh, I'm so excited!"

Toad and Tumble hit their dice blocks: A '4' and a '2'. Six spaces. They move those six spaces and land on a blue space. Yup.

"That was uneventful," Toad said. "Can't say I'm disappointed, though.

"I have a feeling something big will happen to us on the next turn or something," Tumble said. "Just watch."

**FRIENDS OR FOES, GO!**

Mario and DK hit their dice blocks and get a '1' and… another '1'.

"Mama Mia! Two spaces!" Mario groaned.

"Ooh, I do say! How wonderful! I'm happy as a mad poet! Here, take five coins!"

Mario glared at Toadsworth, clearly thinking of ways in which to seriously injure, or at least frighten, the old mushroom man.

Happily, they land on a blue space.

**INCANDESCENT DUDES, GO!**

"Sweet, that's us," Brighton said.

Brighton and Muskular hit their dice blocks. Muskular gets a '5' and Brighton a '3'. They stop one space short of the Dazzling Dames—which just happens to be a red space.

"Aw, man," Muskular said. "We're down to seven coins."

Twila stuck her tongue out at Brighton, taunting him, and he glared at her. "Stupid girls," he muttered, "Think they know everything…"

"Simmer down, we'll get them," Muskular assured him. "Wait until we get to a duel, heh heh."

**MOTHER AND SON, GO!**

Hearing their cue, Mamar and Kalmar hit their dice blocks. They move a total of six spaces, landing on the same space as the Former Instructors.

"Hey there," Toad said. "Nice round, huh?"

"The less that happens, the better," Kalmar said with a little sigh of relief. He was afraid of, well… almost everything. Kind of like a Shy Guy, but not as bad.

**PERFECTLY PINK, GO!**

"Ho-hum, it's our turn!" Peach said cheerily.

Peach and Toadette each manage to roll a '4.' Therefore, after Toadsworth's mad poet comment and gift of five coins, they move eight spaces. They land on the same space as the disgruntled Incandescent Dudes and lose three coins.

"Oh, no," Peach wailed, "We lost three coins?"

"That's what a red space does," Toadette said, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

**SHY AND SCARY, GO!**

…Yet, they're not going. Shy Guy is cowering in a corner as Boo tries to convince him to hit his dice block.

"Well, this isn't gonna work," Boo said to no one in particular. "Skip us for this turn. I'll get the little guy to go on the next one, I promise."

Therefore, team Shy and Scary ends the turn…at the starting point. Yeah.

**777, GO!**

Game Guy and Greedy Goomba hit their dice blocks: a "2" and a "3." They land on the same space as Luigi and Daisy.

"Uh-oh, that means we lose three coins," Greedy Goomba said. "Hey, Luigi, wanna play me for five coins?"

"Heck no," was Luigi's answer.

**WISE AND STUPID, GO!**

Finally, the last team takes their turn. Eldstar hits his dice block, then tells Belltop to do the same. Ten minutes later, Belltop finally understands what Eldstar is telling him to do, and hits his own block. Eldstar rolls a '4' and Belltop a '3.' They move seven spaces, landing on…a duel space!

"Oh, goodness, no," Eldstar muttered, fearing the worst.

"Well, well, it's duel time!" Toadsworth exclaimed. "So, who do you want to battle?"

Eldstar tried to think of the weakest people he could. "Team Former Instructors," he said.

Toadsworth somehow summoned Toad and Tumble to the same spot. "Now, you must choose who will be in the duel!"

"Me," Eldstar said immediately.

"Me fight a Star Spirit?" Toad asked, in a shocked, high-pitched voice. "Tumble, you'll go, right?"

"…I guess so," Tumble answered.

"Excellent!" Toadsworth said. "Let's pit Eldstar vs. Tumble! Now, what game will you play? The Wheel of Woe will decide that!"

"It's 'Wheel of Doom' you idiot!" Brighton shouted to Toadsworth.

Twila and Misstar glanced at each other and laughed.

"Oh, they are _so_ going to get it when we land on a duel space," Brighton muttered.

The Wheel of Woe, or Wheel of Doom, whatever you want to call it, contains the names of various duel mini-games from all the Mario Party games, though it shows only three at a time, of course. It stops on "Vine With Me" from Mario Party 3.

Eldstar and Tumble are magically transported to the jungle, where the game takes place.

"All right, this is how it works," Toadsworth said. "You must swing from vine to vine until you reach the goal. That's all there is to it! Oh, and _no flying!_ You are permitted to hover a couple of inches off the ground, but no cheating! That goes for everyone who can fly!"

There were audible groans from Boo, Tumble, Brighton, Twila, and all the Star Spirits.

"On your marks, get set…GO!"

Toadsworth forgot to tell them about one thing: the Piranha Plant at the start that bites off the branch they're standing on. Fortunately, since both of them could fly, this was no problem, but poor Tumble was so frightened that he didn't start for several seconds, and by this time Eldstar, old as he is, was already about a third of the way through the course.

"I've never felt so young!" Eldstar cried, full of glee—until he missed a vine and fell into the mess of Piranha Plants below. "AIIIIIEEEEEE!"

Tumble laughed so hard at hearing Eldstar scream that he too missed a vine and fell.

Eldstar won the duel, getting to the end about three seconds before Tumble did. Toadsworth magically transported them back to Peach's castle.

"So…we have to give something to team Wise and Stupid, don't we?" Tumble groaned.

"'Fraid so," Toadsworth said. "Hit the Slot of Stupendousness, Eldstar!"

"Slot of…what?" Tumble asked, thoroughly confused.

Tumble's question was ignored. Eldstar hit the roulette, which came up with… a star!

Toadsworth announced the results for all to hear. "Oh ho ho! The Former Instructors must give Wise and Stupid a star!"

"…But we don't _have_ a star," Toad pointed out.

"Too bad then! Team Wise and Stupid gets nothing!"

Toad and Tumble let out sighs of relief.

Thus, the first round was over, with teams Dead and Lovin' It and Friends or Foes tied for first place, with 18 coins each, and team Fantastic Food Fanatics in last, with absolutely nothing.

Stay tuned for the next rounds of Mario Party! (To be done in whatever format and as much detail as I want!)


	3. Perfectly Pink's Perfect Problems?

_(Exams. ... EXAMS! EVIL! Need paper shedder. Aahhhh...Er, anyway...  
I have had exams and huge projects due last week and this week, but I'm done with the semester now! Yes! Free time at last!_

_Anyway, here's chapter 3 of this... weird... fic. If you didn't see the disclaimer in chapter 1, then look at it again, mmkay?)_

The next few rounds went by. Dead and Lovin' It managed to pass by the Millennium Star and buy a star, sealing their spot in first place for a little while. Dazzling Dames also went by the star space, but were one coin short and came away with nothing. Fantastic Food Fanatics made a nice comeback after dueling with Greedy Goomba and Game Guy, as the latter lost and were forced to give their 35 coins to the dinosaurs.

The only real mishap was when Bookworms landed on a ? space, which was supposed to cause a Bob-omb to drop and trigger an explosion that would cause everyone within three spaces to lose half their coins. That in itself wasn't bad, but the Bob-omb was a little overly zealous and blew up everyone and everything within _ten_ spaces. A wall in the corridor now bore a nasty scar from that explosion. When Peach saw it, she fainted dead away, so Perfectly Pink would have to sit on the same spot for a while.

"I told the princess it wouldn't be a good idea to let the Bob-ombs in here, but, noooo," Toadette murmured to herself as she sat next to Peach, her little legs tucked up against her chin and her arms wrapped around them. "No one ever listens to Toadette. She always gets ignored. She didn't even 'exist' until Toad needed a racing partner. She _always_ gets shown up by Toad. Well, I'll show them. I'll show them how powerful a little mushroom girl can be. Ha!"

"Who is she talking to?" Tumble asked Toad.

"Who knows," Toad answered, "I think she's just mad at the princess right now. She can get a little…vengeful sometimes."

Tumble gulped but said nothing more.

For boring ol' reference: here are the current stats in order of rank:

1. DEAD AND LOVIN' IT: 1 star, 28 coins.  
2. AN EPITOME OF EVIL: 0 stars, 52 coins.  
3. INCANDESCENT DUDES: 0 stars, 47 coins.  
4. FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS: 0 stars, 35 coins.  
5. MOTHER AND SON: 0 stars, 33 coins.  
5. DAZZLING DAMES: 0 stars, 33 coins.  
6. SHY AND SCARY: 0 stars, 27 coins.  
6. PERFECTLY PINK: 0 stars, 27 coins.  
6. FRIENDS OR FOES: 0 stars, 27 coins.  
7. FORMER INSTRUCTORS: 0 stars, 26 coins.  
8. WISE AND STUPID: 0 stars, 18 coins.  
9. BOOKWORMS: 0 stars, 12 coins.  
10. CUTE COUPLE (Luigi & Daisy): 0 stars, 10 coins.  
11. 777 (Game Guy & Greedy Goomba): 0 stars, 3 coins.

As you can see, 5th and 6th place are tied among various teams, and the teams affected by the Bob-omb disaster were Wise and Stupid, Bookworms, and Cute Couple.

Amazingly, no one has gotten any orbs yet, mainly because they don't want to waste coins until they get a star!

Until…

**AN EPITOME OF EVIL, GO!**

Wario hits a '5' and Waluigi a '2.' They move seven spaces. On the second to last space, they go by Ms. Mowz's Howz of Orbz.

"Hello, there, my…ample hunk of cheese," Ms. Mowz said to Wario in greeting. "Can I interest you in buying one of my special orbs yet?"

"What you got?" Wario asked.

"Oh, the general selection and then some," Ms. Mowz answered. "There's mushroom orbs, Kamek orbs, Toady, Wiggler, Pink Boo, etc., I'm sure you know all those already. Ah, and a vacuum orb, just for you, sweetums."

Wario nodded in understanding.

"And there are a few more that were created just for this place," Ms. Mowz added. "Since the only type of mini-game you can play in normal circumstances on this board is a duel, I've got orbs that can cause you to play a 4-player, 2 vs. 2, 1 vs. 3, Battle, Mic, or 8-player game on command. The best thing is, you also get to choose who participates."

"Can you mix and match teams?" Wario asked, an evil grin on his face.

"Um, not really… you just choose the teams who will play, and they each choose a member to participate."

"Good enough," Wario told her. "How much do they cost?"

"Only 10 coins apiece! Oh, but you can only buy one at a time, hon."

Wario buys a 2 vs. 2 orb. He and Waluigi end the turn on a blue space.

"Gonna use that on the next round?" Waluigi asked.

"You betcha!"

**BOOKWORMS, GO!**

Klevar and Skolar put away their books to hit their dice blocks. Klevar rolls a '2' and Skolar a '4.'

"Thankfully, we will not have the pleasure of landing on one of the green spaces with the inquisitive mark on it," Skolar announced, looking ahead six spaces.

"Good," Klevar said with a small sigh of relief.

"Unfortunately, we _will_ come to a stop on one of the bright red spaces, which takes away three coins from our total," Skolar continued.

"Yes, but we will not be forced to throw away half our coins," Klevar pointed out. "We must give up only a quarter of them. Excuse me: one-fourth or twenty-five perfect would probably be a better way of saying that."

"We probably should have taken that fork to the right last turn."

"Perhaps, but surely we can make up for it."

Nearby, Mamar and Kalmar watched them.

"Dear me, do they always talk like that?" Kalmar asked.

"I'm afraid so," Mamar said with a sigh. "See why no one wants to hang around them?"

**CUTE COUPLE, GO!**

"Ya-ho!" Daisy cried cheerfully as she hit her dice block. She rolled a '1.' "Aw, _man!"_

Luigi also rolled a '1.' "One plus one equals two," he chuckled.

Daisy rolled her eyes. "Good job, brainiac."

Toadsworth appeared out of seemingly nowhere. "Oh, my, what good chemistry! I'm happy as a mad poet! Here, take five coins!"

"Do you think by 'mad' he means 'insane'?" Daisy asked after they'd moved. (They landed on a blue space.)

"I assume so," Luigi said with a shrug.

**DAZZLING DAMES, GO!**

Twila and Misstar hit their dice blocks: a '2' and a '4.'

"Hey, six isn't bad," Misstar commented.

"Not at all. But I want to try another spell," Twila said.

"Why are you trying all these right _now?"_ Misstar asked.

"I never get to when I'm at home or when I host," Twila answered. She waved her wand, and six coins dropped out of it!"

Twila grinned, pleased with her success. "Good! Now every time we go, we should get as many coins as the dice block shows!"

"Wow, that is really nice!" Misstar said with a big grin. "No way we could lose now!"

Misstar and Twila move their six spaces, stopping at Ms. Mowz's shop along the way and buying a 4-player orb. But they end the turn on a Miracle Space!

"Uh-oh," both girls said simultaneously.

They were magically transported to the beginning of the board, where Toadsworth was.

"Well, well, good show!" he said. "Looks like it's time a Round of Miracles! And I'm your host, Toadsworth! What will happen today? Twila, Misstar, hit those dice blocks!"

One of the dice blocks showed what would be given, and the other somehow shows pictures of all the teams, minus the Dazzling Dames. (How that's possible on a six-sided block, uh… nevermind that…) That represented the receiving team, of course.

Twila hit her dice block, the team one. It showed a picture of Greedy Goomba and Game Guy – team 777.

Misstar gulped and hit hers. A large pile of coins!

The two girls groaned.

"Oh ho! Dazzling Dames must give _all_ their coins to 777!" Toadsworth announced.

"It was just twenty-nine coins, no huge deal," Twila said after they'd traded their coins for nothing.

"Yeah, but now we're in dead last," Misstar pointed out.

Twila smiled. "Well, I still have this," she held up her wand, "And that 4-player orb, remember?"

**DEAD AND LOVIN' IT, GO!**

Dry Bones and Koopa Troopa hit their dice blocks. They rolled a '5' and a '5'!

"Wow, luck is smilin' down on us today," Dry Bones commented, happy. He'd be grinning, but… well, it's kinda hard to tell when a skeleton is grinning…

"I'm happy as a mad poet! Here, take five coins!"

"Wouldn't it make more sense for us to get _ten_ coins?" Koopa Troopa wondered aloud.

"Try telling that to the old geezer," Dry Bones muttered.

Sadly, they landed on a red space.

"Look on the bright side," Koopa Troopa said, "We're two coins richer than we were at the start of the round!"

"Yeah, but we could have been at least _three_ richer," Dry Bones said with a sigh.

**FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS, GO!**

"The star! The star!" Birdo chanted happily. "Come on, Yoshi, we're two spaces away!"

They hit their dice blocks: a '4' and a '3.' Two spaces later, they arrive at the Millennium Star!

"Ho ho ho, well done, Yoshi and Birdo," the Millennium Star said. "Would you like to buy a star for 20 coins?"

"Sure, hey… Could Yoshi buy _two_ stars?" Yoshi asked.

"Um, Yoshi…" Birdo began, but was cut off.

"Sorry, my young prehistoric friend, but that would be cheating," the Millennium Star replied.

"Yoshi…"

"But, but the Dazzling Dames cheated since round one!" Yoshi exclaimed. "What's the big deal? Can't Yoshi and Birdo cheat a _little_?"

"But Yoshi, we—"

"Good point," the Millennium Star said after a moment. "I guess selling you two stars wouldn't be a bad thing. That will be 40 coins."

Yoshi dished out the coins. "Oh, wait…"

"We only have thirty-five," Birdo said. "I just tried to tell you, but…"

"Can Yoshi pay you the remaining five later?" Yoshi asked.

The Millenium Star shrugged. "Sure, whatever. What do I care? I just want to get rid of these things, really." He motioned over to the big, burlap sack of stars he carried.

"That thing must weigh a ton," Birdo commented.

"Wow, thanks!" Yoshi paid the Millennium Star the 35 coins, and received the two stars. "We're in first now!"

**FORMER INSTRUCTORS, GO!**

Toad and Tumble hit their dice blocks, rolling a '4' altogether. Once again, they have… an extremely uneventful round. They haven't even gone by the Howz of Orbz yet!

"This has _got_ to be building to something," Tumble said.

"Maybe we'll land on that Bob-omb space…" Toad said.

"Or have to duel more than once in the same round…"

"Or maybe we'll have to trade coins with a team who _has_ no coins."

"Or we'll land on a, a Bowser Space! And have to play one of those scary mini-games!"

Toad shuddered. "Or maybe two Bowser Spaces in a _row!"_

"Or three!"

"Or three and _then_ the Bob-omb space!"

"Or three and then a Bob-omb space and _then_ a Miracle Space!"

"Or three and then a Bob-omb space and then a Miracle Space, and _then_ a duel, which we lose!"

Toad and Tumble continued trying to one-up each other, discussing the worst possible things that could happen.

**FRIENDS OR FOES, GO!**

Mario and DK hit their dice blocks: each getting a '5'! Mario shouted in triumph, and DK made that… happy growling noise thing… that he does when he's pleased with something.

"Oh, I do say! The chemistry between you two is amazing! Here, take five coins!"

"Are you-a calling _me_ an ape?" Mario asked in shock.

"Quite so, old boy," Toadsworth said, not paying attention as he headed back to start.

DK almost fell over laughing, seeing Mario's angry face.

"Maybe that means you're-a plumber!" Mario told him.

DK instantly stopped laughing. He pulled a banana out of nowhere and ate it.

"You-a gonna use that banana peel?"

DK grinned devilishly and nodded.

They pass the Millennium Star, buy a star, pass the Howz of Orbz, buy a 4-player orb, and end the turn on a blue space.

**INCANDESCENT DUDES, GO!**

Brighton and Muskular hit their dice blocks, rolling a total of… 3.

"No biggie," Brighton said as they moved those three spaces, and landed on a red space, "I'm just glad those girls got what was comin' to them!"

"Yeah," Muskular agreed. He looked ahead of their position: there was a fork just two spaces away. One led to another inner corridor, the other, to an outer courtyard. "Hey, how 'bout take that right fork next turn? I'm itchin' to get out of this dark, cramped place!"

"It ain't so dark, not with _me_ around," Brighton laughed. "But, sure. Hey… lots of duel spaces that way, too." He grinned and rubbed his hands together. "This'll be fun!"

"Watch, I'll bet we won't land on a single one," Muskular laughed.

**MOTHER AND SON, GO!**

They also roll a 3 (I like this number right now, don't I?).

They move the three spaces, Mamar going first because Kalmar is nervous. Though it's obvious that they won't land on a Bowser space, there are several of them around. He stops after moving one space; a Bowser space is between Mamar and himself.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, just come on," Mamar said.

"But it's a… a… Buh-Bowser…"

"It won't hurt you," Mamar said gently, though in reality, she was trying _hard_ not to laugh at Kalmar's naivete.

Kalmar backs up a few steps, takes a _deeep_ breath, and jumps over the space. Mamar has to dodge out of the way so that he doesn't land on her. Seeing that he cleared the Bowser space, Kalmar let out a sigh of relief.

**PERFECTLY PINK, GO!**

"Oh, I wish," Toadette grumbled, still sitting next to the unconscious Peach.

Peach is still out cold, so… they'll have to skip this turn.

"Wish I could at least go buy an orb," Toadette muttered. "Well… hmm." She sneaks over to one of the orb spaces, just a few spaces beyond where she and Peach are, and grabs a random orb: Triple 'Shroom!

"At least this'll make up for the time we've spent sitting here," she said happily.

Peach stirred, but didn't wake up yet.

**SHY AND SCARY, GO!**

Boo hit his dice block first, then Shy Guy gently tapped his.

"Good going," Boo said. He'd rolled a '3' while Shy Guy rolled a '4.' "Now, follow me."

Boo took hold of the top of Shy Guy's hood, and turned them both invisible. Shy Guy felt much safer this way. They moved seven spaces, passing the Howz of Orbz along the way. Boo opted to buy a Magic orb, just so that he could show Shy Guy how it worked.

"What would my special orb be?" Shy Guy asked at the end of their round.

"I've no idea," Boo admitted. "Let's just take a good look at the shop next time, huh?"

Shy Guy nodded. "Okay."

**777, GO!**

"Uh, yeah, actually, before you go…" Klevar suddenly appeared up by them. "I've got a question."

"Uh-oh," Greedy Goomba said. "What?"

"Your team name is numerical, isn't it?"

"Numerical? You mean, numbers?" Game Guy asked. "Yeah. So?"

"So why do you two take your turn second-to-last?"

"What're you talkin' about?" Game Guy was confused. "Isn't it alphabetical?"

"Numbers go first, before letters," Klevar explained. "So, you two should be going first. And if your name was spelled out 'Seven Seven Seven'…"

"It's pronounced 'Triple Sevens'," Greedy Goomba corrected.

"You should…" Klevar paused. "Oh, wait."

"I'll bet the author just wasn't thinkin' of that when she put the teams in order," Greedy Goomba said. "There's no way she'd change it now."

"Yeah," Game Guy agreed.

"Still," Klevar said, "Skolar and I couldn't let it continue with that kind of plot hole…"

"You guys're just nit-picky," Greedy Goomba muttered. "Now go away so we can do our turn!"

Klevar disappears, going back to his space.

Game Guy and Greedy Goomba move nine spaces, landing on a red space. "Woulda been cool to go first though, wouldn't it?" Game Guy commented at the end of their turn.

"Yeah," Greedy Goomba agreed. "But it don't really matter. I mean, good stuff happens to us, right?""

"Like those two dames giving us all their coins?" Game Guy asked with a laugh. "Ooh, that reminds me when I used to host my own events on game boards… There was this one time that Yoshi landed on my space, and he had 244 coins, or somethin' like that…"

Yeah, well, you can probably guess the end of Game Guy's story: Yoshi lost all his coins to Game Guy, who later lost them all to someone else, etc…

**WISE AND STUPID, GO!**

Finally, the last turn for this round!

Eldstar hits his dice block, getting a '4.' He waits for Belltop to hit his…and waits…and waits…_and waits_…

"Oh, goodness me," Eldstar muttered as he hit Belltop's block for him. It showed a '3.' "So, Belltop! We move seven spaces! Follow me!"

It took Belltop a few moments, but he finally realized he was supposed to follow Eldstar, and obeyed.

They land on a _Bowser_ space… Uh-oh…

"Gwa ha ha ha ha!" Bowser transported them to his dark little closet-room. "Well, if it isn't the Star Spirit and the… uh… Robot-thingy! Hmm…" Bowser studied them closely, almost entranced by Belltop's permanent deer-in-the-headlight expression. "Gwa ha ha! I know! I'll make you play one of my mini-games, by your lonesome self!"

"Which one of us?" Eldstar asked. To himself he chanted: _Please not Belltop, please not Belltop_…

"You!" Bowser pointed to Belltop, who, for some reason, blew his whistle as hard as he could. "Argh!" Bowser covered his ears. "STOP THAT! Anyway, I want you to play the mini-game, Robot-thingy!"

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," Eldstar moaned.

"Quiet, you!" Bowser snapped. "Now, if you don't win, I will take _all of your coins!_ The Wheel of Pain will decide which mini-game you play!"

The mini-game chosen is… Tunnel of Lava, from _Mario Party 7_.

"All right! I love this one!" Bowser said. "All you have to do, Robot-thingy, is find which one of the Mecha Koopas has a key! But I'll bet you can't handle it! Bwa ha ha ha!"

Bowser transported Belltop to the room in which the mini-game takes place. (Would that be Bowser's Castle?) And the game began…

To play the game, of course, you must jump on the Mecha Koopas while they're normal. You can't jump on them when they're flashing red, or else you'll be stunned for a few seconds.

Belltop, however, didn't realize this. All he knew was that he was in a ring with a bunch of little wind-up toys that breathed fire. Just for fun, he decided to hit one with one of his rods to see what would happen. The Mecha Koopa disappeared in a little puff of smoke! Excited, Belltop began hitting all the Mecha Koopas with his rods, laughing as each disappeared in a puff of smoke. Finally, there was only one left. Belltop chased it around, finally hitting it near the edge of the ring. A shiny key came from it! Entranced by the key's glow, Belltop grabbed it.

"FINISH!" a voice yelled from seemingly nowhere.

Bowser and Eldstar both watched, slack-jawed. Bowser spoke first. "Did he…? Did he really… What the…?"

"Way to go, Belltop!" Eldstar shouted to him. "You did it!"

"Grrrrrrarrrr! I underestimated that thing!" Bowser growled in rage. "Okay, you keep your coins. But get out of my sight before I change my mind and take them anyway!"

Belltop and Eldstar were transported back to the Bowser space.

"Good job," Eldstar said to Belltop. "Don't know how you did it, but, you did!"

Belltop happily blew his whistle.

So that ends this round… whatever number it is… Stay tuned for the next chapter! (Whenever I get around to it…)


	4. The Chapter That Took 2 Months to Write

HI again! It's been what, two months? Well, a lot of stuff has happened since late December. I got a Nintendo DS and two games for it (_Mario Kart DS _and _Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time_) and I also recently discovered an online game rental place called Gamefly. They're really good! I rented and then bought _Mario Superstar Baseball_ from them and have been playing that like mad lately (I have seven superstars so far!). I'm renting _Super Princess Peach_ as soon as it comes out!

School and work have been busy, plus other…depressing stuff. Anyway, I FINALLY finished this chapter. I worked on most of it while I was supposed to be studying for a literature test and writing a paper, but… the books we had to read were just plain AWFUL. So I ended up working on this instead (though I did finish the paper, I'll bet I bombed the test XP). There's one quote in here based on a famous quote from Joseph Conrad's novella _Heart of Darkness_; I'll give a cookie to anyone who can spot it.

This chapter seems anti-climatic to me; the climax is really at the beginning. I wanted to write about another duel, too, but chose not to. Game Guy & Greedy Goomba will duel someone in the NEXT chapter, heh!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now we're to the next turn! I guess we're around turn 10 or so. These were the stats at the end of the previous game, and therefore, the stats at the start of this round:

1. FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS (Yoshi & Birdo): 2 stars, 3 coins – and they currently owe the Millennium Star 5 coins.

2. DEAD AND LOVIN' IT (Dry Bones & Koopa Troopa): 1 star, 30 coins. Koopa Troopa is still angry with Dry Bones because of the name he chose for their team.

3. AN EPITOME OF EVIL (Wario & Waluigi): 0 stars, 45 coins, 2 vs. 2 orb. Wario is extremely eager to try out the 2 vs. 2 orb against team Friends or Foes, but it's Waluigi who is leading this turn, so…hmm…

4. INCANDESCENT DUDES (Brighton & Muskular): 0 stars, 44 coins. They were a bit angry when they realized that they have one coin less than third place, but if things go their way, that'll change soon! First, though, it would help if the Dazzling Dames got a few more coins…

5. MOTHER AND SON (Mamar & Kalmar): 0 stars, 36 coins. Mamar is sincerely hoping they'll never land on a Bowser Space. Kalmar would have a heart attack! (If that's possible for a star, that is.)

6. FORMER INSTRUCTORS (Toad & Tumble): 0 stars, 29 coins. They're _still_ discussing the worst things that could happen to them. Now they're throwing in other non-board related events: the ceiling caving in, a sudden rainstorm, a herd of giant man-woman-mushroom-dinosaur-ape-Goomba-star-ghost-turtle-Shy Guy-robot-eating Piranha Plants, etc.

7. PERFECTLY PINK (Peach & Toadette): 0 stars, 27 coins, Triple 'Shroom orb. Much to her partner's joy, Peach finally woke up at the end of the previous round. However, she was mad at Toadette for leaving her for a moment to snag the orb. But when she found out it was the Triple 'Shroom orb, Peach was fine.

8. 777 (Game Guy & Greedy Goomba): 0 stars, 26 coins. Game Guy is still telling stories about what happened when he hosted his own events during _Mario Party 3_. He and Greedy Goomba are laughing so loudly, it's starting to annoy the other players.

9. FRIENDS OR FOES (Mario & D.K.): 0 stars, 25 coins, 4-player orb, and an ultra-slick banana peel. May they have mercy on Toadsworth…

10. CUTE COUPLE (Luigi & Daisy): 0 stars, 18 coins. They're just kind of… standing there. Yeah. Standing there, maybe a little close together.

10. WISE AND STUPID (Eldstar & Belltop): 0 stars, 18 coins. Eldstar is still shocked at Belltop's unexpected victory. Belltop is dancing in circles, waving his rods, jumping up and down, and occasionally blowing his whistle, all for no apparent reason.

11. SHY AND SCARY (Boo & Shy Guy): 0 stars, 15 coins, Magic orb. Boo is explaining how the Magic orb works. Shy Guy can't wait to try it out!

12. BOOKWORMS (Skolar & Klevar): 0 stars, 9 coins. … No one can understand what the heck they're talking about. No one cares, anyway.

13. DAZZLING DAMES (Twila & Misstar): 0 stars, 3 coins, 4-player orb. They're in dead last, but they don't care. They'll show everyone just what the ladies of the sky can do!

I hope I got all the calculations correct. It's already difficult to keep up with these guys, even though I'm the one writing it! They play the game all by themselves and I'm just trying to report what happens, y'know?

**AN EPITOME OF EVIL, GO!**

Waluigi, the leader of this turn, immediately opens up the 2 vs. 2 orb. Toadsworth appeared out of nowhere. No, he wasn't hiding in the orb!

"Well, chaps, looks like it's time to play a 2 vs. 2 game!" Toadsworth said cheerily. "Which team would you bad eggs like to challenge?"

"Luigi! Er… Whichever one Luigi's on!" Waluigi said immediately, not remembering what the name of Luigi's team was.

"Team Cute Couple? Good move!" Toadsworth summoned Luigi and Daisy to the space. "You must all play a 2 vs. 2 mini-game!" he announced. "It will be An Epitome of Evil vs. Cute Couple!"

"Oh, goody," Daisy said sarcastically. "We get to duel those two clowns? Sheesh, I would have at least liked to duel with someone who has a bit of _intelligence._"

"Nya! We're smarter than you two goons!" Waluigi snapped.

Meanwhile, Toadsworth had rolled the Wheel of Doom/Calamity/Woe. "Well, you will be playing Dungeon Duos, from _Mario Party 4_!" (A/N: My absolute favorite 2 vs. 2 game of all time!)

"Dungeon Duos?" Wario asked, scratching his ample belly.

"Yes, yes. It's quite simple, mates. All you have to do is clear all the obstacles in the dungeon. Very simple! Even I could do it!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Peach's voice called.

Toadsworth paused and blinked, momentarily confused, but shook it off. "Let's get this mini-game moving, shall we?"

The two teams get transported to the dungeon, which is deep within the basement of Peach's castle, so deep that even Peach doesn't know for sure where it's located! The dungeon exits through a cave near the castle. The only way to escape is via a hot air balloon, two of which are ready at the exit. The two teams must work together to get past wall obstacles, rotating platforms, and warp pipes. Once they've warped up to the balloon, they must fill it with air in order to escape.

"Start!" Toadsworth called.

Waluigi immediately ran to pull the lever that would collapse the wall blocking Wario's path. Once that wall was down, Wario did the same for Waluigi.

"Can't you go any faster!" Waluigi shouted.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" Wario snapped back. "Or maybe you'd like me just to quit? And leave you there?"

"Shut up!" Waluigi growled. "We'll never win that way!"

"Then just _shut up_ and _quit complaining!"_

Waluigi gulped hard, but managed to hold his tongue. However, as soon as they were out of that area, he kicked Wario in the shin before running to control the lever that moves the circular platforms over the gap. Wario tried to trip him, but wasn't quick enough.

Meanwhile, Daisy and Luigi were having their own problems. Daisy's first door-controlling lever was stuck, and she had to brace herself and pull with all her strength to pull it out. By the time she was done with her first one, Waluigi and Wario were both across the gap.

"Oh, no!" she exclaimed once she and Luigi got to the gaps and saw that the other pair was _way_ ahead of them. Wario and Waluigi were already at the warp pipes! "We'll never catch them now!"

"Don't-a say that, we've got a chance!" Luigi assured her as he ran to the lever that controls the circular platforms, so that Daisy could get across first.

Waluigi was trying out the warp pipes, but Wario was a little apprehensive. "Um… Do you think I can jump in there? I think I'll get stuck…"

"You never have before, why would you now? You know, yellow's a good color for you."

"What? Why?"

"You're a coward! Idiot!"

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Wario growled. Waluigi jumped down a pipe, which happened to be the right one, and Wario lunged in after him. He almost got stuck on the other side, but Waluigi pulled him out.

"See? You fit," Waluigi snickered.

Luigi and Daisy made it across the gaps, though Luigi fell in once. By the time they got to the warp pipes, the other team was pumping air into their balloon.

"Ha! LOSERS!" Waluigi taunted the opposing team.

"You like the taste of defeat, huh?" Wario shouted. "Heh heh!"

Wario and Waluigi got their balloon pumped in no time. As they hopped into the basket attached to it, Luigi and Daisy got up to their balloon.

"You're too late!" Waluigi waved gleefully as the balloon started to rise.

Luigi took off his hat and wiped his brow, tired from all the work he'd had to do. Daisy was tapping her fingers against her pump handle. "Geez, I hope we teach them a lesson next time. Just because they're stronger than us doesn't mean—"

"Hey wait, is something wrong with their basket?" Luigi interrupted her. "It's sagging."

"Huh? It is?"

_CRACK._

Waluigi's ears perked up. "What was that?" he asked.

"What was what?" Wario asked in reply.

_CRAAAAAACK._

Wario looked down. "Oh, shoot…"

Waluigi did the same. "Oh, for the love of—AHH!"

_CRAAAAAAAAAAACK! WHOOOOOOSH!_

_**THUD!**_

Wario and Waluigi landed in a heap on the cold stone floor of the cave. Their balloon, its basket now bottomless and free of its immense burden, floated up into the sky…with no one on board!

Wario stared up at it from the cave floor. "Dang it! _Stupido!_ How the heck did that…? ARRRRGH!"

"You need to lose some weight," Luigi shouted to him, laughing, while he and Daisy quickly pumped their own balloon. Once it was ready, they hopped into the basket and floated out of the cave.

Daisy blew a kiss to the other team, while Luigi put an arm around her shoulders and waved to the losing duo with his other hand. "Better luck next time!"

"Finish!" Toadsworth called when he saw Luigi and Daisy emerge. "Dear me, what happened to the opposing team?" he asked. "Their balloon came out of the cave, but no one was in it."

"I think they had a little mishap," Daisy giggled as she jumped out of the basket in a most unladylike fashion.

"Yeah, you'll have to call someone to get them out," Luigi added.

Ten minutes later, Wario and Waluigi were out of the cave and standing at the start spot, with Toadsworth between them and team Cute Couple. "So, team Cute Couple won the game, so I give you… Ten shiny new coins!" Toadsworth gave Luigi the coins. "Congratulations!"

The two teams were then transported to the spaces they'd been on before the game started. "Lousy mini-game with its _stupido_ rules and weak basket!" Wario muttered.

Wario and Waluigi hit their dice blocks, and rolled a total of four. They move the four spaces, landing on a blue space. They just sit down and reflect on what happened…and Waluigi's hoping Wario will consider going on a diet, since eating five meals a day, plus all the snacks, isn't good for their finances at all. His health? Waluigi couldn't care less about _that…_

**BOOKWORMS, GO!**

Klevar and Skolar mark their places in the textbooks they're reading and hit their dice blocks. Klevar rolls a '4,' as does Skolar. After Toadsworth congratulated them in his odd manner and handed them five coins, they moved and landed on one of the green spaces with the inquisitive mark on it. (That is, a ? Space!)

"Oh, hmm, this may trigger a disaster similar to the one last time," Klevar remarked.

"I see no bombs with feet," Skolar pointed out. "Perhaps we will not encounter the same misfortune as last time."

"Nothing seems to be happening."

Suddenly, a door near them swung open. It was the door to the castle's kitchen. An old, kindly mushroom lady came out. "I apologize for being a little late; the sensor for the happening space wasn't working properly," Tayce T. said.

"What do we do here?" Klevar asked.

"Why, Zess T. and I will cook something for you of course! But, per the princess's orders, we must charge you. You _also _must help us cook," Tayce T. explained.

"Is there an advantage to ordering foodstuffs?" Skolar asked.

"Well, dearies, food can have a similar effect to orbs," Tayce T. explained. "You can get the energy to travel more spaces, or grow big or small. It's very handy—but only if you do a good job helping us cook."

"I don't need any help, I don't know why the stupid princess made us do things this way, anyhow," surly old Zess T. said from the kitchen.

Klevar and Skolar looked at each other. "How many coins will it cost?" Klevar asked.

"At least five," Tayce T. answered. "That's for a basic dish."

"Hmm… We have only nine coins," Skolar said. "I do not think it would be wise to spend them on edible provisions."

"I agree," Klevar said. "But thank you very much, kindly mushroom woman. We will consider your offer again if we come to this spot later in the game."

"I hope to see you again," Tayce T. said before going in to the kitchen.

"That was a nice occurance," Klevar said when their turn was over.

"Yes," Skolar agreed, "Perhaps not all inquisitive mark spaces are bad."

**CUTE COUPLE, GO!**

Daisy and Luigi hit their dice blocks, moving a total of three spaces. They land on a super-powered-ultra-hyper-awesome blue space. No, really, it's just a regular blue space. +3 coins kind of space.

**DAZZLING DAMES, GO!**

Misstar decides to try casting a spell this time, but fails. Nothing happens. Heh. "The horror," she muttered.

Twila laughed. "I guess it's OK to play fair for once…"

Together, the girls roll a '7'. They pass Wario and Waluigi along the way, and Wario, the typical jerk that he is, tries to trip Twila. Instead, Twila ends up stomping down, _hard,_ on his foot.

"OW!" Wario screamed as he hopped around on one foot, cradling his other foot in his hands. "You, you dirty rotten little—"

"Now, now, boys, no need for foul language," Misstar said, laughing, as she and Twila settled down on a red space two spaces over. "How'd you do that?" she asked Twila.

"It's handy having big feet," Twila said proudly. "Oh, by the way, we're broke…again."

"Oh well. On the bright side, no one can steal anything from us…"

"…Because there's nothing to steal."

Misstar nodded. "Exactly. Except that orb, but who would want that?"

**DEAD AND LOVIN' IT, GO!**

Koopa Troopa and Dry Bones hit their dice blocks: a '2' and a '4'. 2 + 4 6. They end up landing on the same space as Perfectly Pink. "Hello, ladies," Dry Bones said in the creepiest voice he could manage.

"AAAH! A MONSTER!" Peach faints dead away….again.

"No! Noooo! Not again!" Toadette cried. She shook the princess, then glared at Dry Bones.

"Whatcha gonna do?" Dry Bones taunted.

"Umm…" Koopa Troopa stuttered, "I think you, I think you should back down, Dry—"

Before he could finish his sentence, Toadette grabbed the nearest object (a broom) and struck Dry Bones with it. His head fell off!

Koopa Troopa shrieked. "You killed him, you killed him!" he said, on the verge of fainting himself.

"Whoah! No harm done," Dry Bones's body groped around for its head. "This happens pretty often, actually." His hands found his head, picked it up and put it back on. It was backwards, though, so he had to adjust it. "Good as new." He grinned at Toadette. "You've got some guts, girl, hitting me like that."

Toadette stared slack-jawed at Dry Bones, unable to say anything else. She sat down. "Did you just… what the…? How in the world…?"

"Violence solves nothing," Koopa Troopa said meekly.

Peach woke up, sat up, and rubbed her head. "I need to stop fainting," she muttered, "It's not good for my hair…"

**FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS, GO!**

Yoshi and Birdo hit their dice blocks: they both get a '4'. Toadsworth makes his usual comment and gives them five coins. They land on a ? Space, triggering the Bob-omb attack and losing all eight of their coins!

"Ah wa wa, bet the Millennium Star would love to know what happened now," Yoshi said with a sigh. "We had the coins!"

Birdo just shrugged, and turned away. Her diamond engagement(?) ring had blown off, and she had to find it before Yoshi noticed!

**FORMER INSTRUCTORS, GO!**

Toad rolls a '1' and Tumble a '2'. So they move three spaces and land on…yet another blue space.

"Speaking of Piranha Plants," Toad said once they'd moved, "Have you ever met Petey Piranha?"

Tumble shook his head. "No, but I've heard of him. Is he really as big as they say he is?"

"Oh yeah. And he's really weird, too. You know what he did a couple of months ago?"

"What?"

"It was when we were having the big baseball tournaments. Everyone but King Bowser and his team were staying at the castle. Petey got into Princess Daisy's room and looked through her wardrobe!"

Tumble laughed. "Ooh, that sounds funny!"

"Even better: he actually tried on one of her favorite dresses! He tore it to shreds and was dancing around the room in it when she came in! You should have seen the princess's reaction! She was _so_ mad, I thought she'd explode!"

Tumble was laughing so hard he had to sit on the ground. "Wow! Did she make him repay her for it!"

"Yeah, and she also hates him now! She refuses to be on the same team as him!"

Tumble wiped a tear from his eye. "Wow, that was sooo funny! Has anything else like that happened in the castle?"

"Well, there was that one time a Boo spooked Luigi so badly he ran out of a banquet screaming his head off…"

"Ooh, tell that story!"

"OK, but it's kind of long. It was just after Luigi won that haunted mansion. We were having a banquet to welcome him and Mario back, but…"

**FRIENDS OR FOES, GO!**

Mario and DK roll their dice blocks, getting a total of '9'. Nine spaces later, they land on a space with Toadsworth's silhouette on it.

DK grumbles in confusion.

Mario shrugged. "I don't-a know."

"My, my boys, it looks like you've landed on my space!" Toadsworth said gleefully while he walked up to them.

Mario narrowed his eyes. "_Now_ what are you going to do, old man?"

"No need for the attitude, Master Mario, I'm going to—whoah!"

DK had thrown the banana peel, and it landed right beneath Toadsworth's cane. He slipped and nearly fell, but caught himself just in time. He didn't notice the banana peel, which was now sticking to the bottom of his cane. "Oh ho, that was close," he said happily, "I'm not always as steady as I used to be!"

_He was _trying_ to hurt you, you moron!_ Mario thought, but said nothing. "What are you going to do?" Mario asked again.

"I… hmm. I'm supposed to give you something. Oh, I know! Here, have twenty coins!"

"We'd rather a star," Mario said, and DK nodded in agreement.

"Twenty coins it is!" Toadsworth handed him twenty coins and left, still dragging the banana peel with him.

"Old geezer needs his hearing checked," Mario muttered. "Do you have any more bananas, DK?"

DK nodded and ate another one.

**INCANDESCENT DUDES, GO!**

"Sweet, it's out turn again!" Brighton said as he hit his dice block. A '3'.

"I hope we get a star soon!" Muskular rolled a '2'.

They move 5 spaces, landing on the only ? space in the courtyard! A roulette appeared, showing the three furthest teams (Dead and Lovin' It, Perfectly Pink, and 777).

"What the heck?" Muskular asked.

"I dunno," Brighton said. He spun the roulette. It landed on 777. Before they knew what was going on, they'd traded places!

"Shoot!" Brighton exclaimed. "Dang it, I was certain we'd get to duel with the girls soon!"

Muskular sighed. "Oh well… There's always next time…"

**MOTHER AND SON, GO!**

Mamar hit her dice block first, then Kalmar hit his. They rolled a total of '3'. Kalmar, relived they didn't have to go far, was a little miffed when he realized that they had landed on a red space. But that is, after all, much better than a duel or Bowser space!

**PERFECTLY PINK, GO!**

"Yes! I can't wait to get away from this goon!" Toadette said as she hit her dice block.

"Ooh, I'll be back .You can _never_ get rid of me!" Dry Bones said, trying to sound creepy even though he felt like laughing. Koopa Troopa shook his head, but said nothing.

Toadette rolled a '5', and Peach a '4'. "Whew, nine spaces," Toadette said with relief.

"Come back and see us soon," Dry Bones teased her.

Toadette gave him a good kick in the foot before moving, causing Dry Bones's right foot to fly off and land about five feet away. He hopped over toward it while Peach and Toadette moved.

"Sheesh, what is up with that guy!" Toadette grumbled when they were out of earshot. "He creeps me out."

"Why didn't you use the Triple 'Shroom orb?" Peach asked. "We could have gotten even farther away from them."

"Oops… I kind of forgot about it," Toadette admitted sheepishly.

"Oh well. We can use it later."

"Yeah."

**SHY AND SCARY, GO!**

"OK, so this is how it works," Boo said, taking the wand out of the magic orb. "Hit your dice block, Shy Guy."

Shy Guy did so. "I got a '3,'" he announced.

"Good." Boo rolled a five. "So, normally we'd move eight spaces. But!" He waved the wand, turning them both into sketchy silhouettes and doubling the amount of spaces they'd move, "We get to move sixteen! And, nothin' can hurt us!"

Shy Guy jumped up and down in excitement. "Come on! Let's go! Let's go!"

Boo led Shy Guy across sixteen spaces. They passed by an orb space and got a regular mushroom orb. They ended the turn on a blue space, and were just a couple of spaces from the Millennium Star!

"All right!" Boo was very pleased. "The magic can be used for one more turn." He gave Shy Guy the wand. "Think you can handle it next time?"

Shy Guy gladly took the wand. "Yes, Mr. Boo, sir."

"Good. All you have to do is wave it, and it'll work."

Shy Guy nodded eagerly.

**777, GO!**

They're in the courtyard now, after having to switch spaces with team Incandescent Dudes.

"Lookit all the duel spaces!" Game Guy was amazed. "We could win big coins from others here!"

"Yeah," Greedy Goomba agreed.

Sadly, they both roll a '1' and land on a blue space…because I'm too lazy to write about a duel right now. Maybe next time.

**WISE AND STUPID, GO!**

The last turn! Finally! Will this one be uneventful, or an action-packed mock-adventure like the last two chapters!

Eldstar hits his block, while Belltop stares up at his. He acts as though he's going to hit it with a rod, pulls back, acts like he'll hit it again, pulls back, etc. He finally taps it with a rod, and laughs with glee as the number '5' appears.

Eldstar had rolled a '1'. So they move six spaces, landing on, to Eldstar's relief, a mere red space.

Belltop pointed to the space. "Shiny," he said, the first thing he's said so far in the entire game.

"Yes, shiny," Eldstar agreed, amazed that Belltop could talk at all. "Actually, I think it's more like 'glowing,' but close enough."

Belltop pointed to it again. "Shiny." He hits the space with a rod, and laughs because it bounces back. The space is kind of rubbery. He continues to beat the red space with his rods.

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I imagine the Dry Bones in this story as being the creepy red and black one from _Mario Superstar Baseball_. He looks so cool! And he would really creep out Peach, I'm sure. Hehe. When writing this chapter, I kept skipping over teams (Cute Couple and the Fantastic Food Fanatics almost didn't get their own turns in this chapter; it wasn't until I scanned it over that I noticed they were absent!) so I hope I got everyone.

I've been considering doing a collection of short stories about the people of the Mushroom Kingdom. I thought that would be a nice thing to do, even though it's kind of been done, quite often. XP I'll probably base some stories on chapters in _The Tale of Genji_ or short stories I've read; after all, I _am_ an English major.


	5. Clues for Treasure

Well… I wasn't done with these chapters, but I decided to publish them anyway. School has started, and I need to concentrate on that. If all goes well, I should graduate this semester. But so much for working on stories during the summer… (sighs) I had a horrible summer. So horrible I don't even want to talk about it. It took me a while to get to where I could write again, but I'm kind of pleased with how these chapters turned out… They were going to be one chapter, but I figured that the treasure hunt would be best in a few installments!

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**Chapter 5: Treasure Hunt**

OK, I'm doing something different for this chapter. I mean, _Toadsworth_ is doing something different.

Toadsworth let things go for a few more rounds, then decided to test my—er, _his_— "brilliant" idea. At the start of the next round, he called for everyone's attention before Wario and Waluigi could hit their blocks. "Attention, everyone! May I have your attention! Excuse me!"

Everyone was magically transported to the start spot. "Wha, what's going on? Are we under attack?" Kalmar asked.

"No, no, not at all." Toadsworth adjusted his glasses before speaking to the whole group. He cleared his throat. "A-hem! I am happy to announce that this round is going to be different from the others! You're going on a treasure hunt!"

"A treasure hunt?" Luigi asked.

"Right on! Now, only one treasure – a chest filled with 50 coins and 1 star – is hidden in the castle. There are a variety of ways in which you can find it. Each team is going to get one clue, follow it to the next. There are three clues in all. And if you're quick, you'll find the treasure before anyone else does!"

"How the heck did you plan all this without anyone in the castle knowing about it?" Toad asked, bewildered.

"That's none of your business, lad." He began passing out the first clues to everyone. "There are three clues in all," he repeated, "And one of your clues will lead you somewhere in the castle. However, the other will take you to another world inside one of the paintings!"

"I knew I should have gotten those paintings sealed when I had the chance," Peach muttered.

**_AN EPITOME OF EVIL'S CLUE_**

Wario ripped open the envelope with their team's name on it. He scanned over the clue while Waluigi read it over his shoulder.

"What the heck?" Waluigi asked, grabbing the clue. "'Go to where the pillars were pound.' Well, _that'll _be easy to narrow down."

"We have to check _every pillar_ in the freakin' castle," Wario muttered.

"Well, hurry up!" Waluigi ran toward the door to the basement. "The treasure awaits!"

**_BOOKWORM'S CLUE_**

Klevar read their clue aloud. "'Look under the red torch…'"

"Ah. Well, there are plenty of red torches in the lower levels of the castle, I believe," Skolar said. "It must be just below one of those torches."

"Yes, I believe you are correct," Klevar agreed. "This hunt may not be very difficult after all."

**_CUTE COUPLE'S CLUE_**

"Okay!" Luigi ripped open their envelope.

"What's it say!" Daisy asked, grabbing it from him before he could read it. "Hmm… 'Now you see me, now you don't. Get my clue before I disappear.' Ooh, that's a tough one… You think it could be a ghost or something?"

Luigi paled. "Only if Toadsworth has struck a deal with King Boo…"

"Heh, I doubt that! But that would be cool if he did!" Daisy gave the clue back to Luigi, who pocketed it. "Let's check that haunted courtyard, anyway!"

"Uh, Daisy, I really don't…"

But Daisy was already gone. Luigi had to run to keep up.

**_DAZZLING DAMES' CLUE_**

"This had better be good," Twila muttered.

"And easy. Say, you think you could cast a spell of some sort to make us find the treasure faster?" Misstar asked as she ripped open their envelope.

"Maybe…"

"Well, here we are." She read it silently. "Oh, gee…"

"What's it say?"

"'Look to the windows, and you'll see what you want.' Uh… any ideas?"

"There's lots of windows here," Twila said slowly.

Misstar nodded. "Yeah."

"I'll see what I can do."

**_DEAD AND LOVIN' IT'S CLUE_**

"I hope we don't have to go into the haunted courtyard," Koopa Troopa muttered.

"Me too. Me an' those Boos don't get along so well," Dry Bones said. "Here's our deal. 'Come see the tall green next to the waterfall.'"

"…What's a tall green?" Koopa Troopa asked.

"Beats me."

"Oh… are there bushes next to the waterfall, outside the castle?"

"Yeah!" Dry Bones exclaimed. "Maybe it's in a bush!"

"Come on!" Koopa Troopa ran for the exit. "Let's go!"

**_FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS' CLUE_**

Birdo opened their clue. "Hmm… Oh, wow, we got an easy one."

"What is it?" Yoshi asked.

"'I stand guard over the kingdom. Go to my portrait.'"

"Ooh… that Princess Peach?"

"Maybe. Let's go and find some portraits!"

**_FORMER INSTRUCTORS' CLUE_**

Toad read their clue to himself. "Oh, no, I think Toadsworth is _insulting_ us or something."

"What?" Tumble asked. "What's it say?"

"It says – get this – 'Am I big, or small? I'm small.' SMALL!"

Tumble had to laugh. "It's true though! We are!"

"Yeah, but that's kinda… mean."

"I don't think it is."

"Well, okay then. Let's just find out where it is. I think I know."

"Lead on. I don't know this place!"

"Ooh, I can give you the full tour after the party! But you've seen a lot already, so…"

"Yeah, but not all. I haven't seen the top."

They continued chatting as they walked, as usual…

**_FRIENDS OR FOES' CLUE_**

"'Go to where the wall rippled,'" Mario read aloud to DK. "Does that mean a portrait, or a wall?"

DK shrugged, then tapped the wall.

"Yeah, probably the wall. I know a few places where it rippled. You have to be careful, though. You might fall in!"

DK gave him a surprised look, then thumped on the wall a little harder.

"It's true. Walls can be portals. Hey, weren't there some walls that you could more or less walk through in _Donkey Kong 64?_ You should know!"

DK grinned, then put his hand _through_ the wall.

"Yeah, perimeter glitches are great, aren't they!" Mario agreed. "But this one isn't a glitch. It's a real portal. Let's go!"

**_INCANDESCENT DUDES' CLUE_**

"'I morph from someone nice… into someone scary,'" Brighton and Muskular read their clue simultaneously.

"Okay. Let's find Twila. She has the next clue!" Brighton immediately added, then broke out laughing at his own lame joke.

Muskular whacked him. "Get serious, dude! This sounds like some portrait or something! We gotta find it!"

Brighton sobered. "You're right. Let's find it."

**_MOTHER AND SON'S CLUE_**

Kalmar opted to open and read their clue. "'Look on top of a pillar in the room of mirrors.'"

"Room of mirrors?" Mamar asked. "There must be a room with, well, a lot of mirrors…"

"I thought I saw one upstairs," Kalmar agreed. "I don't remember any pillars, though."

"Let's go check."

**_PERFECTLY PINK'S CLUE_**

"Oh, this is a funny clue," Peach giggled.

"What's it say?" Toadette asked.

"It's just four words: 'Tick, tock. Tick, tock.'"

"Huh? Oh…boy. It's in that big clock in the top of the castle that tends to run really fast and whose faceplate, which I _always_ have to clean, is a portal into another world for some reason, isn't it?" Toadette muttered.

"That's right. Would you mind getting it?"

"…I guess."

**_SHY AND SCARY'S CLUE_**

"Geez, our clue's pretty easy," Boo told Shy Guy. "'Look by the aquarium.' Can't be more clear than that!"

"Where's the aquarium?" Shy Guy asked.

"Beats me…"

_**777'S CLUE**_

'"Brr, it's cold here. Get me before I freeze,'" Greedy Goomba read aloud.

"Well, that's a melon-scratcher," Game Guy said. "Sounds like something that would go in a commercial about a mint that makes your breath icy cold."

"I doubt that's what it means. You don't suppose… this has gotta be for one of those ice worlds."

"Ice worlds? Like, the freezer?"

"No, I mean an ice world in a painting."

"Oh…that." Game Guy shrugged. "It's worth a try."

**_WISE AND STUPID'S CLUE_**

"I hope this is easy," Eldstar muttered as he opened their envelope. "'Don't go through this portrait unless you want to burn!' That sounds… nice."

Belltop hit the top of his head as hard as he could, causing a loud _ding! _to echo through the castle. "Yes, yes, we all know you're there," Eldstar assured him. "Belltop… do you want to help me find this clue?"

Belltop answered that by banging his head again.

"I'll just take that as a yes… It's not like you have a choice!"

(Continued in next chapter.)


	6. The Hunt Begins!

Chapter 6: Treasure Hunt, Part 1!

Note: To make the treasure hunt easier on the poor old author, teams aren't going to be written about in strictly alphabetical order. They will get their "turn" when they find the next clue, or when some kind of…big thing…happens. Some teams will get multiple "turns." Oh, and of course, I have all their clues written down in a text file so I don't get them confused. I'm not that stupid! …. I think.

I was going to write more to this chapter, but since I started school yesterday, and this chapter is already eight pages long in Microsoft Word (as long as or longer than a term paper!) I figured its long enough. I'll be working on chapter 7 when term papers and reading responses are getting to me. (insert cheesy happy face here)

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**Chapter 6: Treasure Hunt, Part 1! **

**_AN EPITOME OF EVIL_**

"Oh, I am _not_ going in there," Wario growled.

"Shut up, you sissy. Or do you think a little water's gonna hurt you?" Waluigi taunted him.

"I'm not a sissy!" Wario bravely stepped into the ankle-deep water in the castle's basement, then jumped back out. "It's COOOOLLLD! Why don't YOU go in there?"

"Because I can't ruin my shoes," Waluigi said.

"I can't ruin my shoes either!" Angered, he pushed Waluigi _into_ the water. "How do you like _that,_ jerk!"

Waluigi sputtered as he stood back up. "Pphhht! Ew! Hey, this isn't so cold. You _are_ a sissy." He took a few more steps down the hallway, looking both directions at the intersection. "Hey, I see something by the wall there," he said.

"What?"

"It looks like a piece of paper." He ran to get it, and then took it back to Wario. "What luck! It's a clue!"

"Was it by a pillar?"

"No, but who cares?"

Wario unrolled it and read it. "'It's baaack… Board Bowser's submarine.'"

"…Bowser has a sub around here?" Waluigi asked, shocked.

"I guess so."

"Then let's find it. It's gotta be around here somewhere!" Waluigi exclaimed.

Wario agreed. "We must be a step ahead of everyone! Ha ha ha!"

**_DEAD AND LOVIN' IT_**

"So…this is pretty tall, and green," Koopa Troopa said, standing at the base of a tree near the waterfall outside the castle. "And this is the only waterfall I know of, so…"

"I sure hope there ain't another one of them in one of those worlds somewhere," Dry Bones muttered. "Anyway, you climb that tree there, and I'll climb this one."

"This one?" Koopa Troopa jumped on the trunk of the tree and shimmied his way up. Dry Bones did the same.

"These trees are easy to climb," he said to himself. "Too easy… it's almost like their 2-D…"

"I got it! I got it!" Koopa Troopa shrieked from the other tree. "There's a piece of paper up here!"

"Bring it down!" Dry Bones jumped from the tree and ran to Koopa Troopa, who by now was at the bottom of his tree.

Koopa Troopa unraveled the clue and read it. "'Inside the great timekeeper, watch for the pendulum.' … Huh? Sounds like a… clock or something."

"Hmm." Dry Bones thought about that. "I guess we oughtta look for a clock with a swinging pendulum."

**_FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS_**

"There picture of Princess in here," Yoshi said as he and Birdo entered one of the long hallways off the foyer. "But it, it weird picture…"

"What do you mean?" Birdo asked. The portrait looked normal to her.

Yoshi held out his arm to stop her. "Stop. Watch." Yoshi continued, alone, down the corridor. When he got near the end, the portrait of Peach suddenly turned into a portrait of Bowser!

"Wow!" Birdo was amazed. "How'd you do that?"

"I just walked. Portrait does that itself," Yoshi answered as he headed back. The portrait returned to normal.

"I'd like to try." Birdo slowly walked to the front of the corridor, her eyes on the painting.

"Don't go too far…" Yoshi warned.

When Birdo got near the painting, it began its transformation. "Wow!" Birdo was amazed. "Look at this, Yoshi!"

"You can't go too far," Yoshi warned again.

"Why not? Oh. NOOOOO!" Birdo fell through the trapdoor at the other end of the room!

"I told you!" Yoshi exclaimed as he jumped in after her to get her out of the Dark World.

**_PERFECTLY PINK_**

"There's the clock, you get the clue," Peach said to Toadette as they entered the room high up in the castle.

"Okay. But don't be too surprised if I fall in. I did that last week," Toadette said. "Hey, wait a sec…"

"What?"

"The clue isn't in the clock! It's on the ground in front of it! Woo-hoo!" Toadette gleefully picked it off the ground.

"Why, howdy there, we weren't expecting to see you ladies again," a familiar voice called to them. Toadette and Peach turned to see that Dry Bones and Koopa Troopa had entered the room.

"Ew, what do you want, freak?" Toadette asked.

"We got a clue about a swinging pendulum," Koopa Troopa explained. "We asked Toad and Tumble about it, and they suggested to come in here."

"Was your first clue in the castle?" Toadette asked innocently.

"Yeah… Why?"

She grinned. "You're going to have to go inside that clock, then. And believe me, it's _terrible!"_

"Oh, come on, Toadette, it's not that bad," Peach protested. "We've raced in there, remember?"

"At least you weren't _cleaning_ the stupid clock," she shot back.

"Oh, yeah, I heard from my cousin that there's a swinging pendulum in it. He's been in the races, you know," Dry Bones said.

"I know," Peach answered. "Just jump into the faceplate of the clock. You'll get there, no problem."

"May we have a…guide?" Dry Bones asked, half joking, as he looked at Toadette.

"Heck no," was the immediate reply. "Come _on,_ your highness, let's get our next clue!"

"Did you ever read it to me?" Peach asked.

"Oh yeah." Toadette tore it out of the envelope. "And it says, ooh: 'Go to the carousel…of death!'"

Dry Bones couldn't help but laugh. "Good luck with that!"

"Carousel of death? Us? I think Toadsworth is up to something," Peach muttered. "Anyway, you'll get it for us, won't you, Toadette?"

"….What! …I, uh, I guess so."

**_BOOKWORMS_**

"There are many red torches here, but I see no type of written communication," Skolar said, checking every red torch that he saw. "You do not suppose that a small ember from the flame fell onto the piece of paper on which our clue was written, and flared up, destroying our clue?"

"…It is possible," Klevar admitted after a moment, "But I am sure that the person who set up the clues was not that careless. At least, I hope that he or she was not that careless. That would be a true shame, really."

"Indeed," Skolar agreed.

"Oh, perhaps our wait is over. I do believe I see some form of white paper tucked into the space between the wall and the wooden pole of that torch just two torches over from us." Klevar and Skolar floated to the torch at a leisurely pace, then Skolar gently pulled the paper from the torch, careful to not allow any embers to touch it. He unraveled it.

"Yes, it is our next clue," he announced, pleased. "' All alone on a block, floating in the water…' That is what it says."

"Hmm, since this clue was located here in the castle, the next one must be in one of the worlds that you can access through the paintings that were transformed into portals," Klevar said. "I assume this must be a world of water?"

"Yes, let us look for a portrait of a world with much water," Skolar agreed. "We will surely find the next clue on a block floating in the water."

"Indeed. Let us go."

"Yes."

….Yeah. They must have taken too many university-level literary analysis courses, for they don't know what "contractions" are anymore.

**_CUTE COUPLE_**

After much stalling on Luigi's part, he and Daisy finally made it to the haunted courtyard. To Luigi's relief, there were only a handful of Boos visible. But, you never know how many are _in_visible…

"Aw, look at all those Boos! They're cute!"

Luigi shuddered at Daisy's comment.

"Why do they disappear when you face them?" Daisy asked. "They don't think they're ugly, do they? I think they're cute!"

"…They're ghosts. They're not _supposed_ to be cute," Luigi pointed out. "I don't know why they hide like that. Can't we just get out of here?"

"Ooh, but if you leave now you may not get your cluuuuuue"

Daisy and Luigi both jumped at the spooky, disembodied voice that spoke to them. "Who're you?" Daisy asked. "_Where_ are you?"

"It's me. A courtyard Boo." The bored Boo materialized in front of them. "Sheesh, I was _wonderin'_ when you'd get here! That old geezer Toadsworth made me keep your clue. Here it is." He handed a piece of paper to Daisy. "Happy hunting! I get to go home now! Boo!" He vanished.

"That was easy," Luigi commented. "Uh, what does it say?"

Daisy made a face as she read the clue. "Ew. This one's kind of…"

"What?" Luigi took it from her and read it. "'It looks like oily paint. But don't be shy to jump in!' … Oily paint?"

"That would totally ruin my dress! I knew I should stop wearing my more expensive dresses to these parties, urgh…"

"I think I remember Mario talking about an oily portal in the basement. It could be there," Luigi commented. "I could go it alone if you'd like."

"Nah. We're a team," Daisy said. "We need to stick together!"

"OK then. If you're sure… let's go to the basement."

**_INCANDESCENT DUDES_**

"Yo, dude," Brighton called to Muskular, "I think I got it all figured out! Get up here!"

They were separately searching the rooms in the foyer. "What? Where?" Muskular asked, coming out of one of the doors on the first floor.

Brighton was standing in front of a set of double doors with a big star in front. "Up here! I think I found our portrait!"

The two entered the corridor together: the one with the portrait of Peach that gradually turns into a picture of Bowser. "Whoah, that is _freaky_," Muskular commented. "Why they heck does the princess even _have_ something like that!"

Brighton shrugged. "Beats me."

Just as the pair got closer to the portrait, a trapdoor in the floor sprung open, and Yoshi and Birdo came out. "Ooh, Yoshi not like little smiley-faced electrical balls," he said. "Oh, look! It's star and sun guy!"

"What were you doing down there?" Brighton asked, confused.

"I kind of fell down there," Birdo explained, embarrassed. "Yoshi helped me out."

"There's a trap door!"

"It's another world. Dark World," Yoshi said. "But it not so bad, expect for little smiling metal balls."

"Did you happen to see a clue by any chance?" Muskular asked.

"Dude, it's right in front of us!" Not wanting to fall into the Dark World, Brighton, who had been walking up until this point, took to the air and plucked a piece of paper from the floor just in front of the portrait. "This must be it!" He flew back to where Muskular and the others stood.

"You can fly?" Birdo asked, surprised.

"Yeah, most star creatures can," Brighton said rather dryly.

"So that not our clue," Yoshi said sadly. "Bowser doesn't guard over the kingdom!"

"That's for sure," Muskular agreed. "Hey, would you mind leaving before we open our clue? I don't think you two would cheat, but…"

"We understand. That is fine!" Yoshi and Birdo quickly left, looking for a better portrait.

Brighton unfolded the paper. "It says: 'Stand atop the pyramid.' Uh… you know where a pyramid is?"

Muskular shrugged. "Nope. Guess we'd better find one."

"It must be a desert world, right? Let's go!"

**_FRIENDS OR FOES_**

These two are confused. Completely, utterly confused.

"Not many walls ripple!" Mario said in disbelief. "Mama Mia! It _has_ to be this one," he tapped on the portal to Shifting Sands Land, "But there is no clue!"

DK made some kind of disgruntled noise.

"I'll bet Toadsworth didn't even put a clue out for us," Mario said. "Or maybe someone stole it!"

DK shrugged, then pulled an entire bunch of bananas out of nowhere. He began eating them.

**_SHY AND SCARY_**

These two continued to stick together, so they were searching rather slowly, starting from the foyer. Thankfully, the aquarium is directly off the foyer!

"There's not a shark in there, is there?" Shy Guy asked, staring at the glass walls of the aquarium room.

"Even if there were, they couldn't get you," Boo assured him. "Ah. Look. There's a piece of paper on the floor near the glass."

Shy Guy trembled when he saw how close the clue was to the glass, and he took a step back. "Um, uh…"

"I'll get it, I'll get it, it's not like these fish could hurt me. Could you, fishies? I could probably do more harm to them!" Boo said as he snatched up their clue. "Hey… bet you wouldn't mind this next clue?"

"Wha, what is it?" Shy Guy asked.

"'Whee! Slides are fun!'"

Shy Guy clapped his hands. "Oh, really! A slide? … I can't fall off, can I?"

"I dunno. I dunno where this slide even is," Boo said, "But guess what? I bet it'll be fun."

"Yay, a slide!" For the first time since the game began, Shy Guy was elated. "We don't even have a slide in the toy box!"

"Yeah, that's 'cuz your toy box is kinda… you know," Boo said. "Come on, let's find this slide."

To be continued whenever I feel like it...


	7. The Chapter That Took 2 YEARS to Write

Like the few who actually seem to care about this story, the characters are getting really restless.

Misstar groaned. "No KIDDING! Twila and I have been looking for our second clue for YEARS, and we haven't found it yet, thanks to you!"

Well… Can I use the fact several characters had to leave for a while to star in _Super Paper Mario, Super Mario Galaxy_ and _Dairantou Smash Bros. X / Super Smash Bros. Brawl _and other games as an excuse?

(That also means that this story is quite out-of-date, since the Wii wasn't even out when I started it...)

"That's a crummy excuse," Daisy muttered. "I can't believe they chose Peach over me! I'm WAY cooler than she is!"

Hey, _Mario Party 8_ has come out in the mean time, too, hasn't it? You were in that, Daisy...

Of course, the two princesses refused to listen. "Oh, shut up! One of my color choices in Brawl looks like you!" Peach retorted.

"Yeah, but it _isn't_ me. I'm just a crummy trophy!" Daisy stuck out her bottom lip in an overly dramatic pout.

…Uh, anyway, before they get too deep into conversations about various games_,_ or before the two princesses start whaling on each other Brawl style, let's get back to the treasure hunt. Since Misstar was complaining, and was a bit more patient than either princess, she and Twila will be featured first!

Also, I haven't played _Super Mario 64_ or any of its incarnations in a while, and don't remember the layouts of the levels, which is why I'm not detailing anything in the stages. I'm too lazy to go and play it again right now. P

_**DAZZLING DAMES**_

"Well, we've had _plenty_ of time to study each and every window in this castle," Twila said, absent-mindedly waving her wand a little as she stared at a certain window. She looked really bored. "And, voila, I found our clue."

"Which window is it in?" Misstar asked.

"The big window of Peach in the foyer," Twila said. "I spotted it about, oh… four months ago, I think. Maybe longer. Would you mind getting it, Misstar?"

"Certainly!"

Misstar flew up to the window and grabbed the piece of paper. "Could you imagine how hard it would be for someone who can't fly to get a clue up here?" Misstar asked on her return.

Twila laughed. "I wouldn't be surprised if that old geezer Toadsworth did that on accident. I hope they have good ladders around here."

"So… let's see what this is," Misstar said as she unfolded the paper. "' A sandy beach… too bad it's cold and hazy.'"

"Cold and hazy? That doesn't sound very nice," Twila said.

"This must be one of the worlds in the painting. I guess we should look for one with, um… a beach."

"Yeah. Let's go!"

_**FANTASTIC FOOD FANATICS**_

They'd finally found their second clue, tucked in the frame of a portrait of Mario, which hung inside of a tiny room next to the princess's rec room. "Look! Look!" Birdo held up a piece of paper. "I found something!"

"Finally!" Yoshi ran to join her. "It figure, we find clue at very last portrait in castle, right?"

"…Actually, I _swear_ this portrait wasn't here the first time or two we went in this room." Birdo shrugged. "Maybe it's just me. Anyway…" She unrolled it and read it aloud. "'Stand Tall! Be Huge!'"

"Awawawah!" Yoshi cried in disbelief. "Yoshi not have any magic mushrooms! What this mean?"

Birdo shrugged again. "I have no idea."

"Maybe look for painting with mushrooms," Yoshi suggested. "Mmm...mushrooms...Yoshi hungry."

Birdo sighed and rolled her eyes and she and Yoshi made a beeline for the kitchen. It was amazing that the kitchen still had food in it after all this time. Perhaps the food magically replenished itself. Or maybe Yoshi was eating kitchen fixtures--and perhaps kitchen _servants_--and mistaking them for food. You could never tell with him.

_**CUTE COUPLE**_

"You really want me to jump in there?" Daisy asked, eying the shiny pool of oily liquid just inches away from her feet.

"Yes. This must be where our next clue is," Luigi told her, surprised that she would be so reluctant to take such a daring action. Usually Daisy was the first one to offer to risk her neck for some crazy, dirty task.

_Not when she's wearing an expensive dress, I guess..._

"Really?"

"Yes."

"..._Really?_"

"...Yes."

"Honestly?"

"For the last time, yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!!"

Daisy didn't get say more because a violent, unseen force (with an evil laugh) pushed her from behind and made her land in the "pool" with a great SPLASH! She vanished under the oily surface.

"Daisy!" Luigi yelped as he dashed in after her.

At least _that_ problem was solved...

"Ha ha! Great one, Wario!" Waluigi was doubled over and clutching his sides. "She'll be whining about that for a WEEK!"

Wario grinned and flexed his biceps. "Gwa ha ha! These babies are great for anything!"

"Now, to find that submarine. You don't think it's in there, do you?" Waluigi asked, pointing to the oily water.

"It ain't there. I dunno how I know, but I know." Wario ran up the short staircase and pointed to the door. "Come on, loser! To the submarine!!"

"...If only you knew where it is," Waluigi grumbled.

_**WISE AND STUPID**_

It was nothing short of a miracle that these two found their first clue. Or, rather, that Eldstar was able to find the clue while trying to keep Belltop of trouble. While the clue itself wasn't hard to find, what happened afterward was a complete catastrophe. Belltop decided to jump into the portrait, so Eldstar had to chase him through Lethal Lava Land before they were able to continue.

The main problem was that Belltop repeatedly jumped into the flaming hot lava. Why he did that at all was a complete mystery. Why he did that multiple times was something Eldstar couldn't even fathom. To top it off, Belltop was completely incapable of swimming. Therefore, every time he jumped in, Eldstar had to fly over to him, grab him, and drag him out of the lava.

By the time Eldstar FINALLY managed to get them out of Lethal Lava Land, he was totally exhausted. Belltop, however, didn't have a single scratch or burn on him, despite the fact that he'd spent a lot of time in lava so hot that it should have melted his metal.

It wasn't until after the ordeal was over that Eldstar _finally_ opened the envelope and read their clue. "'Go to the magic carpet in the land of rainbows!' That sounds nice, doesn't it, Belltop? ...Belltop?"

With horror Eldstar realized that Belltop was nowhere to be seen, and the portrait into Lethal Lava Land was rippling again.

"Whose bright idea was it to create a robot that stupid, anyway?" Eldstar muttered to himself as he dove into portrait to retrieve Belltop for a second time.

_**FORMER INSTRUCTORS**_

All their excitement at finding their first clue (which turned out to be located under the small portrait to Tiny Huge Island, which they found when Toad tripped over it) was quickly tampered when they actually read it. "'Watch for the Chain Chomp. He might awaken.'"

"Ch-chain Chomp?" Tumble asked nervously after Toad read the clue. "Those cannonballs on chains that think they're dogs?"

Toad gulped and nodded. "The princess keeps several as pets for some weird reason. They'll eat pretty much _anything_, even servants!"

Tumble groaned. "Great, I thought our greatest danger would be those piranha plants we were talking about!"

"Or having to duel..."

"Or having to trade coins with a team who has no coins!"

"Or the roof caving in!"

"We should add 'hungry Chain Chomps' to our list of bad things!" Tumble said.

"I know of a painting where the princess keeps one chain chomp that likes to sleep," Toad continued. "She usually makes Toadette feed it, but sometimes Toadette makes me do it. Come on! Let's go!"

_**DEAD AND LOVIN' IT**_

"Did you find it yet?"

"Nah, nothin' yet... Geez, do _all_ clocks look like this inside?!" Dry Bones wondered as he clung to a platform near one of the pendulums. The narrow platform was the only thing keeping him from falling into oblivion. They'd searched nearly every square inch of Tick Tock Clock, but hadn't found anything.

"I don't think so... Oh no!! Dry Bones! LOOK OUT!!"

But, too late: Koopa Troopa covered his eyes in horror as Dry Bones lost his footing and fell off the platform. A giant number "2" appeared on the screen and then turned into a "1," an evil Bowser laugh sounded out of nowhere, and Dry Bones magically appeared back at the entrance of the clock, which was near where Koopa Troopa was standing.

"Looks like I've still got one life left," Dry Bones said. "Say, why don't you try? I don't wanna get another game over."

"Why are our lives counted like that, anyway? Isn't Mario the only one who can die like that?"

Dry Bones shrugged. "Beats me."

A further search of the clock (and several more lost "lives") ended up in failure.

"Did someone steal our clue?!" Koopa Troopa wailed.

Dry Bones thought for a moment. "Actually, there's another section of the clock they use for races. My cousin told me 'bout it. There's a pendulum there, ain't there?"

"Uhh... I dunno... Maybe?"

"Let's go check it out," Dry Bones suggested. "It's gotta be there!"

_**PERFECTLY PINK**_

"La-dee-da-dee-da-da-da, la-dee-da-dee-da-da-da, la-dee-da..."

"Do you mind?!" Toadette exclaimed, fed up with Peach's humming of the carousel of death music. They hadn't reached the carousel yet, but they could hear it. The creepy music scared the daylights out of Toadette, but Peach seemed to be greatly enjoying it for some reason.

"Why?" Peach asked innocently. "I like that tune! It sounds like carnival music!"

"We're in a haunted house, your highness, not a carnival."

"Oh, that's right," Peach said. She then began humming again, which earned her a death glare from Toadette.

They soon reached the carousel room, where a Mr. I was waiting for them in the center.

"Eek! It's one of those eyeball things!" Peach screamed and then ran out of the room.

Toadette rolled her eyes and began looking for their clue. She found the envelope sitting on the ground and then ran after Peach.

"Your highness! I found our second clue!" Toadette exclaimed, waving it in the air.

"That eyeball didn't follow you, did it?" Peach asked, her voice quiet and subdued.

"I don't think so, your highness."

"Good. I don't want to hear the word 'eye' again!"

Toadette grinned. "Aye, aye, your highness."

"Toadette!"

"Oh, _I'm_ sorry. Was my use of the word _aye_ frightening to you? _I'm_ sorry, your highness!"

"TOADETTE!"

Toadette was now laughing so hard she couldn't respond with any more words that sounded like "eye."

"So, should _I_ read the clue _I_ got for us?" Toadette asked once she'd calmed down.

"No, I think that had better wait."

"Huh?"

"None of the other teams have read their last clue."

"Oh, darn...!"

_**777**_

Game Guy and Greedy Goomba soon came to the realization that their clue was not in a freezer, for they checked all the freezers in the castle (most of which were empty, having been raided by Yoshi or Wario) and did not find a single envelope. Therefore, it _had_ be in one of the paintings. Probably...an ice painting.

Duh.

They soon found themselves in Cool, Cool Mountain ("cool" was a gross understatement), trying to find their envelope, which they assumed was frozen in a block of ice.

"It's s-so, c-c-cold," Greedy Goomba complained. He was worse off than Game Guy, since the latter had a nice, warm robe completely covering him from head to toe.

"So let's hurry, then," Game Guy suggested. "Otherwise the clue's gonna freeze...however that's possible..."

So they began their search. They were still near the hut, when, suddenly...

"Do y-you hear s-s-something?" Greedy Goomba suddenly asked.

"Hear what?"

"A r-r-rumbling..."

Game Guy listened carefully, and did indeed hear it: a very slight rumbling noise. "Yeah. What's that?"

"I d-d-don't kn-know..."

The noise grew louder.

"I've got a bad feeling..."

Greedy Goomba looked around, and his eyes suddenly grew as wide as dinner plates as he pointed to something nearby with his hat. "!!"

"What?"

"**!...?...!**"

"Look, you're gonna have to say something, 'cuz I don't even know how you're supposed to pronounce that," Game Guy told him.

Greedy Goomba let out a squeak and continued to point. Game Guy finally looked in the direction that the goomba was pointing...

"Holy crud! TAKE COVER!" The two of them dove into the snow as a _massive_, deadly snowball rolled towards them at blinding speed. It smashed into the nearby hut and tore it to splinters. Thankfully, neither member of 777 was hurt at all.

"Boy, was that weird or what?" Game Guy asked, emerging from the snow and dusting himself off. He was now cold and wet, but still not shivering. "I didn't think giant snowballs that are half the size of the level were a danger in any of the worlds here..."

"M-maybe it's s-s-some kind of g-g-g-glitch," Greedy Goomba suggested.

"Maybe. Hey! There's an envelope sitting on that pile of debris!"

Game Guy waddled through the snow (it was piled higher than he was tall) and managed to climb on top of the debris and grab the envelope, which he immediately opened. It was cold and wet, but still readable.

"''This long hallway is haunted,'" he read aloud. He paused. "Looks like we get to leave this frozen wasteland, but..."

"B-but what?" Greedy Goomba asked, finally joining him.

"I'm not too fond of ghosts..."

--

In case you're wondering, Toad and Tumble's List of Bad Things includes:

Land on a Bob-omb space, duel multiple times in one round and lose each duel, trading coins with a team who has no coins, landing on a Bowser Space, playing a Boswer mini-game, the ceiling caving in, a sudden rainstorm, a herd of giant man-woman-mushroom-dinosaur-ape-Goomba-star-ghost-turtle-Shy Guy-robot-eating Piranha Plants, and now being eaten by a Chain Chomp.

Ever the optimists, aren't they?

Again, I apologize for abandoning this story for such a long time... I never meant to do that, but... I got busy and I swear that time passes a heckuva lot faster than it used to. My inspiration's been running low, too. I'm not really pleased with this chapter, but... I'm never satisfied with ANYTHING I write, so it's not like that means anything. P

The treasure hunt will end in the next chapter. I'm not sure who's gonna win yet, so... We'll see. I'm not sure which team to root for! XD Hey, maybe I should do a blind poll. It would be a nice excuse to use that feature, which has popped up within the past couple of years. Hehe...


End file.
